In The (Time) Zone
The struggle to find rhythm across 8 (7?) hours
Hi everyone!
There’s been so much adulting lately that I haven’t had time to write. And it’s due, at least in part, to being in the (time) zone. So let’s talk about:
The time zone struggle
Balancing work and retirement
Quick hits
The time zone struggle
It’s 22h (10 pm, for all you non-military Americans) as I decide to sit down and write this. I just got done with a standing 9:15 pm Monday client meeting. This is normal.
My primary clients, friends, and family are mostly on the West Coast (- 8 hours from me). I revel in the joy of waking up each day whenever I please, knowing that my earliest (East Coast) clients won’t be up and running until noon.
Every morning has plenty of room to enjoy coffee, do my Portuguese language studies, workout, and get ready for my day. Even after all that, I have a couple of hours for async project work before the Teams and Slack status lights start turning green.
The heaviest part of my day is from 2:30-10 pm when I find myself hauled into chats and meetings, and I’m expected to respond to emails on the same business day. Occasionally I have midnight or 1 am meetings. But that’s rare.
Sounds like a dream, right? Well, it has plenty of drawbacks.
When it comes to family and friends, the differential is brutal.
People are in a very different headspace in the first half of the day than in the second. So when I’m trying to connect with friends or family, they’re just getting started and I’ve already gone through my whole day. We’re not in the same mental space. It may sound trivial, but it’s noticeable.
Or I’m talking to people at midnight on the West Coast/8 am here. We’re not only thousands of miles apart but separated by a sleep cycle.
Add in busy work schedules and our friends’ kids’ weekend sports games, and even the simple task of scheduling time to connect can seem all but impossible.
A few weeks ago I had a virtual seminar (based in the States) that ended at 1 AM here. So I set a call with a friend late enough in his day that we could both have a happy hour drink in our hand like we were just getting off work. It was a rare moment, and I treasured it.
Connecting with locals is easier even with my late work because the Portuguese normally eat dinner at 8 or 9 PM.
Bonus points: Portugal changes to Daylight Savings time 3 weeks after the US does, so we have a Spring window (now!) where the difference is only 7 hours instead of 8, messing up all my calendar meetings. In the fall, it’s only about a week of difference.
Maintaining connections across continents is hard enough, but I had no idea the simple time difference would make it that much more difficult.
Balancing work and retirement
The tyranny of time zones also rules over our daily lives here in noticeable ways.
Hilary is currently living a retired lifestyle, which is absolutely amazing. But it puts her on a very different time scale from me.
My weekdays are pretty scheduled, with a balance between work, physical activity, my weekly crusades against municipal bureaucracy, and homeowner association bullshit. I don’t have a lot of extra time in between.
As our day crawls into the afternoon, I feel the strong pull of the sunrise on the West Coast… time to be in front of my computer and available for my clients.
Hilary, on the other hand, lives life at a more European pace. She has her own list of commitments, including Mondays at the kitten shelter, maintaining her vegan group, and some projects with local restaurants. Plus an endless parade of lunch dates that meander on deep into the afternoon.
Often I find myself struggling to balance my desire to hang out with her and do regular things during weekdays (I do have spare time) and not getting caught into the vortex of retirement (I definitely don’t have that much spare time!).
For example, Hilary will suggest that we make a trip out to the store and I will agree, thinking that we are just going to the store. But then maybe there are four or five other things we might casually do along this trip because, hey, why not? Let’s go check out a new lunch spot. Maybe walk to the park? There’s a boutique I want to peek at nearby, and since we’re already in the area...
I’m sure this is something any retired/non-retired couple faces.
To be fair, Hilary is always a positive force for my work/life balance, and we did move here to escape the grind. But the time zones are always trying to call me back to face my commitments just when we could be settling into a nice, relaxed, European day.
We continue to find better and better balance with it all. But it’s one of those unexpected things that adds a layer of difficulty (at least for me) to moving far away and adapting to a new lifestyle.
Quick hits
I’m getting back into DJing and it’s pretty fun. In my former life, over 15 years ago, I was a DJ and electronic music promoter. A friend here is getting back into it as well and has invited me along for the ride. I played a house party recently and it was a total blast. Looking forward to digging back into the virtual crates! I’ll keep you posted if I start streaming.
The former president of FC Porto, the local pro soccer team, passed away last month. He was at the helm for 42 years, overseeing a fundamental transformation of the organization, and he left an indelible mark on this town. I happened to be jogging by the stadium on the day of his funeral and was caught up in a pretty moving memorial situation. Thousands of locals dropped scarves at a shrine and marched down the street behind the procession to honor him.
Hilary hosted a couple more vegan meet-up events, most recently Sunday brunch. She also got involved with a small group of restaurant owners to help launch a vegan restaurant week in Porto called Vegan Safari, which debuted last month to great success! It’s been allowing her to flex her creative and organizational muscles again, alongside her cat-herding skills.
What have you been up to?
This week’s music is Franc Moody’s new album. I can’t stop nodding my head to it.
Enjoy!
—Don
I so relate to those time zone struggles, but for me it's usually only for a month or two at a time, so it's easier to stomach. As always so love reading your missives from the Portugal! We've got cherry blossoms comin' in strong here in Portland.
Having the time zones on my iPhone watch feature helps make sure I am calling family and friends back in Europe and around the world at the correct time. I am a member of a non profit board and trying to accommodate everyone means meetings on my end start at 6 am. It that is just occasionally. I can’t imagine having to deal with the difference daily. Even harder when only one person is beholden to work schedules.
Always enjoy your news. Magnolias are also in full bloom here in Northern California.